The period of transition after your loved one first moves into their new community is a time of adjustment and change. Here at Coastal Transitions, we consistently observe that this period is not always smooth - in fact, it often comes with ups and downs.
It can take anywhere from one to six months for your loved one to acclimate to their new surroundings, but three months seems to be the most common length of time for them to get used to their new routine and living environment.
When we have conversations with loved ones about the time period after the move, we prepare them to not expect too much in the first few months. In other words, it’s not necessarily reasonable to expect your elderly parent to be at ease right away. Some communities even suggest that loved ones don’t visit for the first few weeks so that the resident can figure out their routine and schedule on their own - with the help of the facility staff of course - which allows them to feel more in control of their new life. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t call and check in, but some communities prefer that you give your loved one a bit of space and allow them to adjust without your immediate help.
This is of course not a hard and fast rule - you should do what works for your family. However, pulling back a bit and giving your loved one some breathing room to adjust is not a bad idea. Feeling guilty during this time is also normal and incredibly common, and there are a few things you can do to put your mind more at ease.
First, we highly recommend that you encourage your loved one to participate in the community’s activities and social gatherings. This is a wonderful way for them to meet fellow residents and start to feel at home, as well as start to build their schedule. Having activities to look forward to on a regular basis helps to smooth out the inevitable ups and downs of such a big life transition.
Another thing we always advise our clients to do is to make sure their loved one has familiar objects in their living space. Whether their room or apartment needs to be completely furnished or comes furnished, they should have comforting belongings around them from their former home such as photos, blankets, and keepsakes.
After a few weeks of living in their new home, you can make a visit with a fresh perspective. They have now started to settle in and you can assess if something is not working for them or if there is anything they need. This tends to be easier to do after they’ve spent an adequate amount of time in their new community as opposed to trying to figure this out as soon as they move in.
Finally, bringing in an occupational therapist to assess how your loved one’s living situation is working is something we also highly recommend to our clients. An occupational therapist, or OT, will make sure the accommodations are set up correctly for fall prevention and will ensure that the placement of furniture doesn’t make it difficult for your parent to efficiently and safely move around the space. OTs typically visit once a week for a series of weeks to evaluate how the space is functioning. Occupational therapy is especially helpful for residents with memory issues and fall risks.
We sat down with occupational therapist Susan Raychard for a more detailed view of the benefits of bringing in an OT.
"As an occupational therapist, I often work with individuals and families in transition from home to assisted living or memory care. Transitions can be very stressful especially for clients living with cognitive change and/or dementia. My role is to assist with various pieces in the transition process which may include:
Assisting with room set-up for best mobility and familiarity.
Assess and educate staff on client daily needs including communication strategies for those with cognitive impairments.
Educate and assist family members with communication strategies when their loved one with dementia asks to go home.
Develop a routine that minimizes confusion and facilitates clients engagement in meaningful activities."
In conclusion, a lot of people aren’t ready for this transition, and the reality is it’s not always smooth sailing. Because it’s such a big change in both the resident and their family’s lives, it takes time to feel normal. Hang in there - it gets better every day.
Do you have questions about the transition period after moving into an assisted living community? We’re here to help. Contact us today at 207-569-3283 or email us at info@coastaltransitionsofmaine.com.